Avoiding the “Let’s Be Friends Trap”

I was watching one of those dating programs on TV. Each half hour program was divided into two separate first dates. We would get a brief introduction to each person, then get to watch the date unfold. Then just before the end of the show you could watch each single review their date from behind the wheel as they drove home.

The women’s reactions fell into two broad categories. Some women would label their date “hot”. While the less impressed women would always respond with almost the exact same language. “Well, I’d consider him as a friend”.

After watching this show for several weeks one thing became painfully obvious. The word “friend” was a death word. None of the women who used the word went on to date the men involved. The word marked the end of the road as no single man is out there looking for female friends.

So here is the problem. Once a man is classified as a “friend” he’ll find it very difficult to impossible to escape the label and move on to becoming a lover.

There are men who have made the transition from friend to lover but they are few and far between. Most male friends stay just that – friends.

Our goal is to do all we can right up front to avoid being classified as a “pal” and at the same time do all we can to get classified as a potential lover.

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